Sexual Rejection – how it hurts and how we can overcome it

If you’re reading this you’ve probably had those miserable sleepless nights of sexual rejection. Or perhaps your significant other complained of it.

I want to address this from all sides, so let’s start at the experience…

It normally starts off with a little thought. Anything might set off that thought. Almost like a craving. And like any craving, the more you think about it, the stronger the desire grows. The thing with cravings is that they affect us hormonally, which sends strong signals to our body.

If you have never experienced sexual frustration, count yourself as lucky, because it is pretty miserable. It is like having to go to the bathroom but being told you can’t. This urge eats away at you. It consumes your mind.

It makes you angry and resentful.

It literally hurts. The expression “blue balls” is not just a cute term, your balls actually ache.

Worse still, it can have long term effects of feeling rejected. Without purpose. Hopeless. Depressed.

The tendency when this rejection happens is to express that frustration either by moping or lashing out – but that makes the problem worse because there is nothing more unattractive than a pouter. Women sometimes don’t want to have sex for any number of reasons but when we take it personally it makes us appear immature and not in control of our feelings thus perpetuating the problem.

So the most productive course of action is to tenderly accept it and remember that it is not necessarily a rejection of you. Trust me, this is no easy thing, but it is the only way to help prevent future occurrences. We can’t make her feel guilty.

But the real key is to do our best to avoid these situations in the first place, and it begins with making a woman feel desired.

If she thinks you just want to blow your load into her she will not be receptive. If you tell her you want her more than anything, and that her smell, her touch, her taste enchants you – she is much more likely to participate.

The next time you feel the desire, try shifting your focus. Instead of asking yourself “how can I get laid?”, ask “how can I get her to feel sexy?” When you make her want you, she will be all over you, and you’ll love it! It empowers you to be your best.

A little secret I learned by experience is that women respond well to two things:

1. Passion

2. Tenderness

But they absolutely melt when you artfully combine the two.

I know that some people are limited by biological issues or hormonal imbalances, but in most cases, we can overcome on-going sexual rejection by applying these concepts.

Being in love with an alcoholic



Maybe some of you can relate to this.

Ever been so madly in love with someone that you overlook their faults and even hold onto hope that some of their quirks will go away in time?

Ever been in love with someone who constantly does damage to themselves and you are left feeling responsible to clean up the mess and protect them from the consequences?

It is an ongoing struggle and strain on your emotions when you care deeply about someone who regularly puts you into moral dilemmas and drastically changes personalities between being sober and not.

When you are deeply in love with someone you naturally want to help and protect them. You want to be the person they come to. And what you fear most is giving up on them.

In many of my blogs I like to provide answers to things I have learned on my way through life, but this is one area in my life that I haven’t figured out. I have just asked myself questions like: am I making the problem worse? Can I spend the rest of my life like this? Does she even understand how difficult this is on me?

There was a line once in Sons of Anarchy, when Jax asked his girlfriend if she loved him, her answer was “I’d stop if I could.”  That is how I feel every day. Sometimes I feel like it is me who needs the help.

Please feel free to leave your experiences and thoughts below. Maybe we can help each other.

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